Some Observations About India

Now that I've been here for a little over a month and I'm leaving in 3 days, I thought it was time for me to write about some of the things that make India unique. These are just random observations on my part.

1. TV - Indian TV is different, luckily we have a satellite here so we are able to get English channels. I'll start with HBO: they actually run some fairly decent movies on HBO here. We've seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", "Rockstar" (I love that movie), "East is East", "Batman", and "Revolutionary Road" just to name a few. Every English-speaking show, from movies to sitcoms, has English subtitles even though the show itself is in English. Tom said it's because people in India can't understand American English, kind of like watching "Trainspotting" without subtitles, even though it's in English, you can't understand a word they're saying.

The people who are responsible for typing up the subtitles don't always get it right, so it's kind of amusing to read the subtitles and listen to words. As an example, I was watching "Revolutionary Road" and the line was "I loathe the sight of you" but the subtitle said "I love to aside you" which doesn't even make sense. If they just can't figure out what the words are the subtitle might look like this: ( ) or (Foreign language). They are also very censored over here so every single suggestive scene in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" was cut out, even the scene where Aldous Snow was singing at the resort.

Language is not overly censored, like the word "shit" or "goddamn" is still audible but the subtitle will be *****. Also, the translations are the British spelling so "neighborhood" would be "neighbourhood", "ass" is "arse", "color" is "colour", etc. I have never heard the "F" word on TV here, that is totally muted out.

Commercials: the commercials here are so silly and most of them are in Hinglish (part Hindi - part English) or Tamil. Most of the commercials are for:

Deodorant (I don't know why because I don't think anyone here uses it)

Cell phones

Cars

Life Insurance (all of the life insurance commercials involve a child graduating from college and being given the gift of life insurance by his/her parents and the kid always cries when they give it to him). Tom said that only recently has life insurance become available through private companies so they advertise the hell out of it.

Some form of non-alcoholic beverage like Nimbu (kind of like lemonade), ThumsUp (a cola drink), Coca-Cola (their slogan is "little drops of joy"), etc.

Motorcycles (big surprise)

Banks

Skin Lightening Creams and Lotions - as I mentioned in a previous post, Indians are crazy for fair skin. The lighter the skin, the more attractive the person. Each time I turn on the TV I see a ton of ads for different skin lightening creams and lotions and they all promise 2 tones lighter in 7 days. They even include a little strip with different shades of brown on it so the user can keep track of how light their skin gets. The funniest one is a commercial featuring Shah Rukh Kahn (the MOST famous Bollywood actor in India) advertising "Fair and Handsome" which is a product only for men.

Shampoos and Conditioners, Bath Soap, and Mosquito Repellant

2. Public Bathrooms - This is worth writing about simply for the "gross out" aspect of it all. I don't think I've ever been in a public bathroom at home, even at a truck stop, that was as disgusting as the public bathrooms in India, even public bathrooms in "nice" restaurants and stores. Sometimes the bathrooms are unisex so there is a Western toilet and a urinal in the same little closet. NONE of them have toilet paper, unless I get really lucky and then I might get a roll with a little left on it. They all have those water hose/sprayer things attached to the wall (see pics of our apartment in a previous post and you'll see what I mean), so the bathroom floor is always soaking wet. To use the public bathroom I will hold my breath when I walk in because the smell is unbelievable, wipe down the entire toilet area with Kleenex that I carry in my purse, then try to squat over the toilet without sitting down all the while holding my pants off the ground with one hand and trying to balance without touching anything while I go. Most public bathrooms do have a bottle of Dettol (soap) to wash my hands with but they don't have paper towels or an air dryer so I just have to flap dry. It's not a pleasant experience but I have to say, one of the cleanest and least stinky public bathrooms I used was at the one and only McDonald's in Chennai.

3. Liquid Refreshment in Stores - I don't really know how to explain this but I'll give it a shot. I've seen this in several places so I think it's fairly common. Stores will have either a water cooler with a single metal cup sitting on top of it or a bunch of Coke or 7Up bottles that have been refilled with water sitting out on a counter. Shoppers will fill up the metal cup from the cooler and pour the water in their mouth without touching the cup with their lips, or they will pour water from the refilled Coke bottle into their mouth without touching the bottle to their lips. People will just line up, one after the other, total strangers, and all drink from the same cup or bottle. It is the one of the most disgusting things I have seen here and I don't think I would do that no matter how thirsty I was. Yuck!

4. Malls, Restaurants, Shops - I can lump these all together and make it easy. I have been to two malls in Chennai, Spencer Plaza and Citi Centre, and I prefer Spencer Plaza even though it is the older of the two. Malls here are smaller versions of malls that we have at home, with lots of different stores and food courts. The malls are not air-conditioned except that sometimes there is an a/c unit over the entry door so when I first walk in I think it's air conditioned, but it's really not. The malls are extremely crowded with tons of people and it's very hot and smelly because no one wears deodorant here so the stench of BO will just about knock you over. In the malls, the people who work in the different stores will stand outside the doors to their little store and hawk their wares, particularly when they see a white person (ME). They will just trail behind me for a few feet trying to get me to come into their store and I just keep on walking like I don't see them. Some restaurants advertise on their outdoor signage that they are "a/c" and most of the time it's not too bad but they don't run it like we would at home. In restaurants, the waiters hover over you constantly and when they bring food out they serve it for you rather than you dishing up your own plate. When the waiter sees that you are just about finished with what is on your plate, he will run right over and try to give you more food. Shops where we buy food are very small, smaller than a 7-11 at home. The produce sections are very small, with rotten produce mixed in with good to average produce and the produce area is covered in flies. You just kind of have to pick through the tomatoes, potatoes, cilantro, bell peppers (it's called capsicum over here), etc. and then wash up with the Germ-X when you've got what you want. We go different places for different things, not like going to Wal-Mart or Target or whatever and stocking up all at once. There is a good place to get milk and yogurt, a good place for bread, and a good place to buy everything else. So buying food can take several hours by the time it's all done and you have to plan it, like getting milk and yogurt last and then heading home before it gets gross from being out in the heat.

5. Power Outages - The power goes out every single day, at least twice. There is no warning, no particular schedule, it just goes. One minute I'm sitting here with the ceiling fan spinning away, trying not to pass out from the heat, and then the power goes out. If we are lucky, Babu the caretaker gets the back-up power on fairly quickly but the back-up power is a ceiling fan and a light in each room, nothing else. That means no power to the fridge, bathroom, microwave, washing machine, electrical outlets in the walls, etc. The power will stay off for anywhere from 5 minutes to several hours, it varies from time to time. One Saturday the power went off at 9:00 AM and didn't come back on until 5:00 PM. Needless to say, we took showers in the dark and got the hell out of here because at least the car is air conditioned. I know that the power outages are supposed to conserve power and I guess they need all the help they can get over here but still....it's frustrating but since it happens every single day I have come to expect it. The frustrating part is when I'm watching a movie and the power goes because then I miss whatever is happening on the show so there's kind of no point in getting involved watching something on TV because most likely the power will go out and I will miss part of whatever I'm watching.

6. The Police - In the U.S. being a police officer is a noble and respected profession but not in India. The police here are most known for taking bribes from everyone. The police do not carry guns unless they are a high grade within the department, like detective or chief. The cops on the street carry a stick and nothing else. The "traffic police" stand at various places in the road and they direct traffic, stand around, and pull people over by blowing whistles at them and motioning them to the side of the road. When someone is pulled over, they will then offer a bribe and that is how the situation is resolved.

7. Beggars - In the U.S. we just have panhandlers who stand at intersections with their signs asking for money. They don't approach people or anything, they just stand around hoping for a hand out. In India, they have true "beggars". These people don't usually bother or approach Indians, only white people. When the beggar sees a white person, they see dollar signs. I have had beggars follow me for a block down the street, grabbing at my arm, walking RIGHT BESIDE me, and when I get in the car and shut the door, the beggar will literally lay on the window and tap it constantly trying to get my attention. Sometimes Tom will take pity and give them a small coin but most of the time we just ignore them, with me saying "Go, Go" trying to get Tom to hurry up and get the car moving because I just can't stand to see these people begging at the window. The worst is when it is a little kid. I made the mistake of smiling at a kid at the beach at Mamallapuram and he followed me almost to the car. It's heartbreaking but we can't give money to every person who begs for it.

8. Jasmine - Chennai is a city in a state called Tamil Nadu. In Tamil Nadu one of the traditions is for women to wear Jasmine in their hair. ALL WOMEN....Before I came here I liked the smell of Jasmine, now I can't stand it. On just about every street corner there are women and men who string the Jasmine into long ropes and the women buy it (or their husbands buy it for them) and they wear these long ropes of Jasmine in their hair. So everywhere I go, I am assaulted by the potent smell of hundreds of women (and small girls) wearing Jasmine in their hair. The sweet, overpowering smell of the Jasmine, mixed with the heat, makes me want to vomit. Directly below the apartment is a garment factory of some kind and only women work there. When they sit outside for their lunch or break, the smell of the Jasmine is so strong the wind actually blows it up into the open doors of the apartment so I smell it inside the apartment as well as outside on the streets.

9. Traffic - Chennai has a population of over 8 million people, and they are all trying to get somewhere and get there fast. Traffic is a nightmare no matter what time of the day or night. When I say traffic, I mean the following: cars, motorcycles, bicycles, scooters, trucks, buses, pedestrians, bullock carts (carts pulled by an ox), auto rickshaws, bicycle rickshaws (a cart with a bicycle attached to it), goats, cows, and buffalo. The roads are marked with lane lines, but no one stays within the lane markings. So if there are actually 3 marked lanes on a road, there are approximately 5 or 6 rows of cars, motorcycles, bicycles, etc. across those 3 marked lanes. Everyone jams up together so I can literally open the window and touch the car next to us without really sticking my arm out of the window. Traffic lights are more for show than anything else because no one pays attention to the light unless there is a traffic cop standing there. Red lights are on an "as needed" basis, meaning that if we are approaching a red light, everyone kind of looks to see if there are any cars coming from the opposite direction and if there aren't any, everyone just goes on through the red light. All of the traffic signals have a "counter" on them which shows how long before the light turns red or green. So on the occasion when everyone stops at a red light, when the counter shows that the light will turn green in 8 seconds, everyone starts inching forward and blowing their horns non-stop until someone finally jumps the red light and everyone goes at once. The motorcycles and scooters ride in between 2 cars or a car and a bus or a car and a truck. I don't know how these people aren't squished but somehow they make it through. Very few people wear helmets and the funny thing is when I see a couple of guys on a motorcyle and they have helmets IN THEIR LAPS instead of on their heads. Lots of the guys on motorcycles wear handkerchiefs over their nose/mouth so it kind of looks like a bunch of robbers riding around on motorcycles.

10. Gas Stations - Gas stations in India are ALL full-service, meaning that no one in India pumps their own gas. You pull into the gas station and there is always some guy standing in the parking lot waving you into whichever pump lane he wants you to go to. Then there is a guy who does the filling up part and a different guy who takes the card for payment. When Tom first came to the U.S. in 2003, he had no clue how to put gas in a car and he was 24 years old.

11. Door Attendants - No matter where you go, there is always a guy standing outside the door to whatever place it is, whether it's a restaurant, a shop, etc. His job is to open the door for the customer when they enter and leave the store. In addition to the door attendant, there are also parking attendants all over the place who tell you where to park at whatever store you're going to. They will wave their hands around, blowing a whistle, motioning this way and that way, until you are parked where they want you to be parked. It's the craziest thing.

12. Imported Grocery Items - We found two stores that carry imported grocery items, Amma Naana and Nilgiri's. Imported grocery items are REALLY expensive and they don't have a lot of it. Some of the items that I can remember are: a normal-sized container of Philadelphia Cream Cheese for US $10, a normal-sized block of Kraft Cheddar Cheese for US $10, a small (and I mean small) package of deli sandwich meat for US $22, a can of Schweppes Ginger Ale for US $1.25, and a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for US $3.75. We bought the mac & cheese, it was okay but tasted kind of funky like the powdered cheese was a little off. The ginger ale was sooo good and we didn't even touch the other stuff because it was so expensive. I guess the people who work in the U.S. Embassy here earn U.S. money so they can afford to buy the stuff they are familiar with but the average Indian income won't allow luxuries like that.

13. Chinese Food - Being in Asia, India has some of the best Chinese food I have ever had in my life. No Chinese restaurant that I've ever been to in the U.S. can compare to the Chinese food in India.

14. Religion - Everywhere in India, on every street, on every road, there will be some sort of a temple, even a small one. It might just be a little statue in a glass case or it could be a small building that is taken care of by the people in the neighborhood. I have seen so many temples it's impossible to count them all. They are everywhere. In addition to the temples there are also large signs about Jesus and being saved, etc. There are mosques dotted throughout the city as well. Directly across from the dining balcony of the apartment is a mosque and they blast the call to prayer 5 times a day from a speaker that I swear is pointed right at this building. I have come to learn the different voices of the men who do the singing and I can usually differentiate between them. Sometimes I catch myself singing along and Tom says I'm going to get us shot if anyone hears me (he's kidding). The other thing about the whole religion aspect of India is the Muslims. I'm not saying anything against anything, I'm just saying that it's well over 100 degrees here and these poor women are walking around the streets in all black burquas, with only a slit for their eyes, wearing black gloves and black stockings....I don't know how they aren't dropping like flies on the street from the heat. The other night we went to dinner at this Chinese place and there was a group of Muslims having dinner there - I think it was 2 couples with kids and then a single guy. The one couple with kids gets in their car, and the other couple with their kids and the single guy get in the other car. Get this: the couple with the single guy, the husband gets in the driver's seat, the single guy gets in the front passenger seat, and the wife with the kids gets in the back seat and PULLS A CURTAIN ACROSS BETWEEN THE FRONT AND BACK SEATS to keep her separated from the single guy. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen but I guess that's how they do it.

15. Livestock - Imagine driving down the street, or the highway, or whatever and dodging cows, buffalo, and goats. Say for instance you are cruising down 635 or the Tollway and you have to change lanes because there is a herd of cattle in the road. That is exactly what it is like here. Livestock is everywhere, and I mean everywhere. We had to stop at an ATM the other day for Tom to get cash, the little ATM building is fenced-in and there was freaking cow walking around in there!

16. Public Urination - This is really men, not women, doing this. If a dude has to go pee, he will drop trou wherever he is, whip it out, and go. Doesn't matter if it's on the side of the road, the corner of a building, whatever. Guys on motorcycles will pull over to the shoulder of the road and just go. They don't go behind a tree or a bush or anywhere else, they just go. So, that means when you are walking around the streets you have to be careful not to step in it and I guess some areas get more use as a bathroom than others because of the SMELL. Totally disgusting.

17. Slums - The first time I came to India in 2008, Tom was very careful to keep me in nice areas, nice hotels, etc. He didn't expose me to any part of the "true India", meaning the slums. Not this time....one weekend we had to do some shopping in the city (the apartment is in a suburb called Chromepet and Chennai city is about a 40 minute drive) and at some of the smaller shops it is really difficult to find a place to park. Tom wanted to go to this computer parts store and we ended up having to park about two blocks away, in this alley behind a large building, and we had to walk to the store. Part of our walk involved walking through a slum. It was the first time I had seen it live and in my face, seeing it on TV or in a movie is totally different. There were tin shacks, probably about 4 feet by 6 feet, all lined up one after the other, no electricity, no doors, no windows, just little tin shelters. All of these women and children were out in front of their little shacks, some of the women were cooking in pots over fires, some of the women were washing clothes in buckets, some of them were just sleeping on the street, none of them had shoes, most of the kids were half-naked, and I had to walk right through the middle of this. I was horrified and I couldn't look at them because I didn't want them to think I was staring at them. It was not a nice experience but Tom said I needed to see it (???); thankfully, when we left the computer store we went the long way around so I didn't have to walk through the slum again.

18. Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonald's, and Domino's - All of these restaurants are here and even though at home we consider these places to be "fast food" and maybe places that we don't really go to, in India they are considered "Nice". McDonald's is relatively expensive here and the portions are quite a bit smaller than we get at home. There are no "super-size" options here, no small, medium, large, extra-large drinks. McDonald's in India doesn't serve beef, they used to serve lamb but not anymore. The options are chicken, chicken, and chicken. KFC in India has India-spiced chicken and it's kind of funny to be walking around the food court at the mall and see a group of Indians chowing down on a bucket o' chicken (yep, it's really in a KFC bucket). Pizza Hut is a real restaurant with menus and is decorated pretty well. Domino's is huge on the delivery scene and their slogan is "Delivering Happiness". Pizza in India is India-spiced so the pizza sauce is distinctly Indian-flavored, has very little cheese, and is loaded with chicken.

I guess that is really all that comes to my mind right now. There might be more that I remember later, if so I'll post it. India is a fascinating, crazy place to be but I don't know if I could live here permanently. The last time I was here I was really a 10-day tourist, hitting Rajasthan and the Golden Triangle of Mumbai-Delhi-Agra. We stayed in hotels with generators so I never knew when the power went out and we had drivers who took us around wherever we wanted to go and knew the quick ways to get places. This time I have actually lived here for 5 weeks and it has been an experience that I will never forget and also an experience that I feel lucky to have had. I don't know many people who get to visit a foreign country like this and experience a totally different way of life. I feel fortunate to live a life in the U.S. that is really luxurious compared to life here.